Sleep

Insomnia is brutal. I have hollow, sunken eyes rimmed with dark circles and a permanent pressure headache. For the past three weeks, I haven’t slept more than three or four hours a night. Natural remedies, breath work, warm baths and even headstands are useless. It’s 11 pm; I’m watching the clock. I pop two Benadryl. Now it’s midnight, my body is gradually letting go but my mind is racing with what ifs. I throw off the covers and stumble over to the guest bedroom. My husband is watching The Office on his iPad. Comic relief is his favorite medicine and sleep aid. The drugs forced him into this room; side effects too numerous to mention. He looks up and smiles. He’s whitish gray with slits for eyes and no eyebrows but his smile is still the same. “ I can’t sleep. Will you join me?” He grabs his pillow and snuggles next to me in our bed. Even though he’s cold and boney, I instantly relax and fall fast asleep. I missed him.

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