Silence

Silence used to be my companion. I enjoyed quiet, peaceful mornings before Chris’s cancer diagnosis. I don’t like to talk in the morning. I prefer to wake up slowly, gradually with a little music and kale smoothie. Check the news, weather and sink into the couch on porch or den dropping into nothingness — meditation. Rising with an easy, bouncy anticipation of the day ahead. The routine hasn’t changed but anxiety slipped into the stillness. It lurks at the edge of my being weaving in and out of my aura with a dense gravity. Instead of floating with a smile, I dread waking to the weight of it all.

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